Just a Summary

So, its been a while. There's so much thats been happening in my life, so much that I want to happen again, so much I wish I could change. I've filled a couple journals, but I won't bore myself with the details. In summary:

I felt restless then I felt excited. Included? yes, very. But slightly reckless, a risk-taker.
And so a new story began.

I grew, I felt bored. Frustrated, I felt butterflys. I felt another heart beat, and my own break. I saw the tears of people I love, and they saw mine. I felt thankful.

And now, I feel like a soaring bird, searching for that perfect place, a place where I feel peaceful, a place where I can make those people happy. Irritation comes and goes, and I'm beginning to see a new beauty in the earth. A beauty of love, of understanding.

Empty Brained
-Amy

p-sha

High school. Oh the joys.

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Need I say more?

These days I can't seem to find the differences between life and dreams. It feels like I'm floating. I can't understand how people go so slow, when there is so much to be learned. So much I feel I need to know, and time seems to be speeding up. Yet I sit, yet I waste my time on silly drawings and fantasy's of a perfect world. Of being famous, and having a perfect life. But perhaps these "silly" things we do are what keeps us alive. Is it what feeds us? What keeps the hope in our world? It makes sense, it explains the bad things that happen. 

Will we be searching for the answer forever? 

My Exploding Brain.

Well, today was usual. Well, as usual as it gets for me.
I don't no if I'm in love with him, or if its just one of those crazy teen "hormone raging" things. I mean, he doesn't know I love him, so that kind of ruins it. But I'm really confused. I have managed to balance this situation, completing yearbook, arrive at my part-time job as a cashier for all my shift, and finish the 6 flipping hours of homework I have every night.
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AAAAAAGGGGGHHHHHHH!

Ok now that I have that out of my system. I LOVE TWILIGHT!!! hee hee thought I'd add that. This blog is going to be just really random just so you know. No certain subjecteroo. Today for gym class, we played golf. Golf. It was not one of the most successful events in my life.

Yeah volleyball... evil... golf... evil...
Amyways now that i've emptied my brain, maybe I will be able to get to sleep. I don't really know... I've never really tried this technique... either way, I geuss we will have to wait and see!

p.s. I'll let you know how this goes.

some days

Do you ever have those days, when you feel like your down in the deepest pit, you'll never escape from??? When you figure start to figure out people, figure greed, power, and poverty??? When suddenly, you feel the pressure of 3 billion eyes turning towards you, reminding you what this world is???

Do you ever have those days, when you wake up glowing, and realize that this day may be the best day of your life??? When your aunty has a baby girl and you hold her in your arms. When you join a campaign to fight animal abuse, give your paycheck to charity, or sponsor a homeless child and see them smile in the picture.

The days when you think nothing more can go wrong, until your best friend gives you a bone-crushing hug and tells you she'll always be there. When you think that no matter how hard you work, your going around in a circle of madness, a circle from which their is no escape, but millions of people just like you, clinging to the hope that one day, all the problems in the world will dissapear.

I know we all hove those days, when we don't want to wake up, when we make mistakes and don't look forward to making them right, and regret what we did yesterday, but always think about what tomorrow will bring. A cure for cancer, a form of anti-acne skin care, or even an 'I love you' from someone special. Hope is what leads us, and when your down in that dark pit, when you can't see, hope is that candle leading you to the rope ladder back up.

hmmm...

So today was the first day of school in my hick (kidding guys) of a town. Now, I really hate how everyone gets like, all dressed up and excited. This was the first year I realized, and didn't. No one special even turned a head toward me. I had 5 hellos, and one "awe your nice this year!" after giving a high five. Which was shortly after I was scolded by my gym teacher for being to nice. Huh. I hate high school. I hate having the same classes every day, and having them last twice as long. At least I'll have less time to work hee hee.

But my two best buds are in my gym and math class. Which, I might add, is awsome. It is really strange because we recieved 4 new teachers this year. But in my grade we lost like 5 kids which sets us back to... oh 27 kids I believe. I'm really sick of all the boys in my school. I think I am going to pack up and go to an all girls boarding school. Well, maybe not but you catch my drift. I am really looking forwards to Romeo and Juliet this year, and I think I might join the yearbook comittee.

hmmm... I hate thinking about whats going to happen after I graduate. I have had every teacher ask me what I plan on doing after high school, and to be honest, I have no idea. I love writing, drawing and photography, but I also like science and physics and research stuff like that. And I love traveling. So I could be a travel agent... Or a house-oh what are they called- real state agent but i dont know =( anyways I'm drifting either way I'm very glad I have my friends or I would be dead of drama overload hanging with the other girls. Anyways I'm off too bed hopefully to write again tomorrow... but I don't know...

We'll see!

First Steps

Anyone would think that living in a small town, where your with the same 20 kids your whole life, would be easy-boy are they wrong. Not to be really prissy or anything but come on-a girl can`t grow up with the same 8 guys through her prime teenage years. And all of them are the same. They are smart, sensitve, funny as heck and are friends with everyone. And I hate them.
The girls are different. Theres the ones that hang around the guys, and believe the world revolves around them, theres the wanna-be`s, the clingers, the gorgeous friendly ones (ex-best friend included) and then, theres my type.
There are 3 of us. We get good grades, are on all the sports teams (unfortunatley along with the gravity rocks) and we totally don`t care. Well, ok we do care and my best friend is in love with the hottest guy (my ex), my other friend believes the guys are her 2nd best friends, and I really miss my old bff and would totally go out with an older guy, but hey no one thinks we care. When we`re together its crazy and nothing matters but having fun.
So for anyone who believes otherwise, no, we don't have trouble finding friends, and bullying is not a huge problem, but there are other issues. You have no choice for friends, and no where to turn. You can't bury a reputation and gossip is the king, even with adults. Everyone knows where you live, how you do in school, what you play, it can get creepy. And of course, theres no McDonalds or Timmy's. Wow, I just realized how bad that really is, but anyways, I hope I've changed your view and you absorb that little peice of my life. No worries, there will be more...
Me